What do you see?

When I look at my life, I see how easy it is for people to be deceived by what they see. When they see me, they see a girl who is always happy, chirpy and loving. They see a girl who is adorable and beautiful and gets everything that she wants. They see whatever can be see by the eyes of a human.

What they fail to see is how upset or dissatisfied or angry, I am from inside. They fail to see what all goes inside this head of mine. They fail to see the blackhole that engulfs me deep within every minute.

Sometimes, they do see that something is wrong. But all they ask is that why am I upset? But I never am upset about a thing. I am never angry about something. I just am sad and angry and frustrated. But that doesn’t mean, I don’t feel happy or loved or loving. Sometimes I feel like my mind is a multiverse and it contains so many universe of its own.

Whatever phrases I use, however many adjectives, I will never be able to tell the difference between what I am and what I seem to be.


Bookworm Days

I am going through that phase where I just want to read as many books as possible. I want to go through most of them cover to cover. The number of books I have bought recently like crazy thinking I will finish them all in just one go.

Every book I see and come to know about, I have a strong urge that I should read them. It is my duty to read them and then enlighten the world with the knowledge of how I found that book to be. (I know this seems stupid.)

I have always loved reading but not the way I have started reading these days. Some of the novels that I have finished in the last 2 months are:

  1. Veronica Decides to Die – It was okay. I didn’t like it much.
  2. Can you keep a Secret? – Light and fun reading chic-lit.
  3. The White Tiger – I loved it!
  4. The Husband’s Secret – Again, this was okay. It was kind of predictable.
  5. And the Mountains Echoed – I have loved all Khalid’s books. This one was also great.
  6. The Time Traveler’s Wife – It was a bit lengthy and got tiring. Although, I really liked the story-line.

The list is ever growing. Let me know if you are going or have ever went through this phase in life and what all books did you read? Well, I must admit, it is fun.


You need to have a Girl Friend.

At times you have to take a break and sit back and relax from the mind wrenching and taking-away-everything-from-you schedule. I am not a perfect human being and I know I suck at relationships. But I am doing alright.

I love my time I spend with my girlfriends. I don’t know why I can’t take more time out for them. Why can’t I just go ahead and meet them everyday. Probably because they are also busy in their lives. But I am happy, even if we meet once in a month or two. They make me feel special. Special in a way that I can be whatever I want to be; they won’t judge me, they won’t preach me and they will still love me.

Sometimes my heart yearns for more coffee, more talks, more lunch’s just with my girlfriends.

Days of Trouble.

It has been so many days since I wrote anything. Although I always thought of taking up the laptop and writing tits and bits, but what a shame that I was not able to pen down all my varied thoughts in the past month and above.

So where do I begin from? I changed my job; which is a good and a bad news. Good because I got rid of my last manager 😛 and bad because now I am supposed to work my ass off at my new workplace. Well, I guess you now have an idea why the subject states ‘Days of Trouble’. Anyway, it’s just one of the troubles.

My mind or to be very specific everyone other person’s mind is a wanderer and I do not blame it if it made me go through extensive thought processes in the past month. I fought with my mother again and you must be aware of the subject (refer my first post 😉 ). Although this time it was a bit messy. Now the worst part is I doubt my own decisions sometimes.

My roommate betrayed me and she left the room and I had to pay the double amount as my rent 😦 .I didn’t find any other roommate for a month and had to make a tough decision to leave this flat. Trust me, finding a new room which also caters to my pet’s need is not an easy job. I haven’t found any flat yet and still not initiated my search. Getting homeless next month is a dreadful thought.

I booked a new car and because it’s my LUCKY month the manufacturing plant went on fire. 😦 Now I have to wait for a month to get my car. Sad, isn’t it?

What is this thing about cooking? Why is it a pre-defined notion that women of the house need to cook. What if cooking is not my passion? What if I don’t want to cook? Why are women only supposed to cook? Why can’t men cook? What do I do if my boyfriend has become alcoholic? and stubborn? and the biggest idiot? Should I still take a stand for him or just ditch him?

Valar Morghulis.

Those were enough troubles for just one post.